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Writing: Develope the I ACT of Free Will

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Created atAugust 06, 2010
Created bySivi Uitto
ClosedDecember 16, 2010
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Nancy Somerville Suggestions for Act 1, Scene 1
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Iida Hämeen-Anttila Hello!
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Nancy Somerville Draft of genius selection scene
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Nancy Somerville Draft of First Scene Libretto (in its...
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graziano gallo About the choice of the heroes and so...
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Sivi Uitto The Characters
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Sivi Uitto 1st Draft of the Opening Scene
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Description

Graziano Gallo has created a powerful synopsis and we have the great opportunity to use it as a basis for our libretto. It allows us to vary and play with it’s imaginative elements.

Structure:
The basic idea is to divide the first act into scenes and decide what’s going to happen. Then we can start writing the scenes into dialogue. After we have created the first act, we’ll do the same with second and third act.
Because there is so much happening in the plot, would it be a good idea to summarize the beginning a little and maybe start the action straight from the meeting with the angels. What do you think?

Characters:
Lead:
Mozart (male)
Oscar Wilde (male)
Joan of Arc (female)
Lucifer (female)

Supporting:
Gabriel (male)
Gazardiel (female)
Jophiel (male)
Bastianel (female)

Choir:
God (the choir)
The Giants (the choir)

Place:
The first act takes place in nowhere less than Heaven. What kind of place is it? What about Hell?

Free Will
ACT I
God is in anguish, his deep concern raised by the way things go on earth: wars, hunger, diseases, hedonism, egoism, relativism. So he summons a general assembly to which all the Angels Hierarchies and the Demiurge are convened. He asks all of them advise about how changing the course of events. During the meeting different solutions are proposed: a new flood, a new Messiah, a severe punishment, but none of them looks convincing enough to God. When God is on the verge to lose hope, a shy young angel (Bastianel) comes out with a pretty weird idea: send back to earth 3/4 human genius of the past ages with the mission of changing the destiny of human mankind. At first everyone laughs at him, but God looks seriously interested, so after a short discussion God accept Batianel’s proposal. Helped by Archangel Gabriel and the young Bastianel God chooses the heroes: Lorenzo de’ Medici, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Alan Turing e Oscar Wilde, they will be picked up from the Limbo and sent back to earth with a brand new identity but the original thinking creative mind. They will be escorted by 4 angelic guides: Uriel (creativity), Perpetiel (dream), Jophiel (Illumination) and Gazardiel (New Beginning). So the four heroes are taken out of the Limbo and instructed by Gabriel and Bastianel about their task. In the meanwhile Lucifer is informed by the Demiurge of the new initiative taken by God and starts studying countermeasures in order to ruin God’s plan. Lucifer’s agents on earth (the Nephilim or Giants) led by Beelzebub will do their best to make the four heroes fail.


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Nancy Somerville September 26, 2010 03:29 3 Thumb-ups
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Draft of genius selection scene

Bastianel eagerly sits down at a computer and starts typing
Bastianel to Gabriel:
We just need your login
To search the Book of Souls
Their “United Nations”—

Gabriel, excitedly catching up with Bastianel’s thought:
Would present the perfect role!

Bastianel, encouragingly:
Let’s find a Game Changer

Gabriel:
for Secretary General!

Basianel, now intently typing:
Keywords will uncover—

Gabriel:
--those who had both brains and balls!

The other angels, now obsequiously wanting to contribute, pipe in with suggestions:
JFK! MLK!

Basianel frowns, cocks her head, continues scanning his computer screen.
Gabriel:
wounds too…fresh
Angels:
Attila the Hun? Napoleon?
Gabriel:
too much…blood
Angels:
Aristotle?
Gabriel, shaking his head, getting frustrated:
Out of touch
Angels, peering now over Basianel’s shoulder:
Oscar Wilde…??
Bastianel looks up swiftly at Gabriel, affirmation in her eyes
Gabriel:
Aha! Yes. Nice.
And I understand he’s available.

Bastianel makes some notes on a piece of paper, then looks up at Gabriel waiting further direction. Seeing Gabriel’s hesitation, Bastianel prompts:
Maybe technology…
Could use a Bulldozer too?
Merged with biology--

Gabriel, again picking up on Bastianel’s subtle prompts:
With a strong arm to push through--
Gabriel and Bastianel together:
Politics, boundaries
Rules and traditions and feuds
Bastianel:
The taproot of disease--
Gabriel:
could be cured-- and hunger too!!

A pause. Gabriel, now thoughtful:
But who…?
Bastianel is typing feverishly.
Angels, verbally stepping over one another to gain attention, chime in once more:
Einstein! Al!
Basianel continues typing, ignoring their suggestion.
Gabriel:
no, not a passivist
Angels:
Leonardo!
Gabriel, peering at the screen Bastianel is now pointing at, shakes his head:
Overworked.
No, we need someone to lead
not just go their own way
Angels, spying on Basianel’s research:
Joan?…of Arc??

Bastianel straightens up eagerly. Gabriel unconsciously mirrors him:
Yes! Yes. A fighter. A visionary. A ball-breaker!
Perfect.

Bastianel takes down some more notes, then casts a sideways glance up at Gabriel and prompts:
Music as religion…
Their universal language
Bastianel and Gabriel together, excitedly:
Harmonic vibrations
Gabriel:
to cut through the brain’s garbage!
Bastianel:
composer,musician
To transform the world stage
Is there a brilliant one…?

Pause. Gabriel and the angels exchange contemplative glances. Bastianel barely disguises disbelief.
Almost with a hum, Bastianel softly prompts with “M---“
Gabriel and the angel unwittingly catch the spark of her thought and shout triumphantly in unison:
“MOZART!

Gabriel raises his arm commandingly:
“Go! Gather them! “
All rush offstage.

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Nancy Somerville November 11, 2010 16:26 Flag

If brevity is important for the 'genius selection' scene, we could revise the suggestions previously submitted by having Bastianel merely enter a string of key words into the computer, and have the top 3 names in the returned results be Joan, Mozart, and Wilde.

Sivi Uitto October 04, 2010 12:36 Flag

Dear Nancy,

Thanks for these you are awesome!

-Sivi

Sivi Uitto September 13, 2010 14:14 1 Thumb-up
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1st Draft of the Opening Scene

The Operatives have alltogether approved this Scene as being the great outcome based on the suggestions of Graziano Gallo, Nancy Somerville and many others.

Operative Iida has combined the first scene this far and the next step is to write out the Aria of Bastianel. In the Aria Bastianel is telling who he thinks is the suitable set of geniouses to be sent back to the world.

Here is the draft where to continue:

(1)Overture ... music commenting on videoclips and pictures showing mankind's suffering projected on a screen... God's musical voice slowly emerging (as a kind of main theme) and then, at the climax of the overture, awfully thundering with no underlying music ...

2) Sudden darkness and absolute silence fall on stage (few seconds)

3) Lights turn on the Angels Board of Directors meeting, several angels seated round a conference table. An administrative assistant, Bastianel, stands quietly aside when not engaged in passing out copies of documents, refilling cups, or fetching supplies.
Gabriel, trance-like, eyes closed and arms raised, channels God’s thoughts in a kind of stream-of-consciousness:

GABRIEL
Bleak, blind, murky earth
Doubing, doomed, desolate souls
Violent, malignant, warring spirits
withering wretched wasteland
distress…distress

(Gabriel’s meditative state ends. He opens his eyes and lowers his hands to his side. Picking up a tablet from the table, Gabriel assumes a direct and very serious manner, scanning his notes then addressing the collective of angels. )

GABRIEL
As your CEA
I’ve called this emergency session
At God’s request

As these images demonstrate
The Free Will Project
Has not met God’s expectations
Famine and Fear
Terror and Greed
Their ‘milestone’ of a new century
Did nothing
To keep their eyes on eternity
And our merger with Globalism
Still nets a gain in devastations

God is firm
The direction is clear
The deadline is now
We must act
Use our insight
And our influence
To help fix this creation
So I open the floor
To your propositions

GAZARDIEL
I think it’s about time we show humans
Those ignorant little creatures
Let’s give them a run for their money!
I’m talking about a serious punishment!
A good old fashioned punishment!
I’m talking about floods!
I’m talking about massive earthquakes!
Let’s show them
They’ve seen nothing yet!

JOPHIEL
Hate to say this
But isn’t that kind of obvious?
That’s pretty much
What’s been going on lately…

GAZARDIEL
You don’t get it, do you?
Let’s give them something
They can’t misinterpret!
Oceans turning to blood
Animals talking
Fish flying
You get the picture.

JOPHIEL
Is chaos really the answer?
More fear?
More hate?
More pain, more suffering?

GAZARDIEL
All right, all right
You come up with something better.

JOPHIEL
How about this?
A new Messiah!

GAZARDIEL
Look what happened to the last one?

JOPHIEL
But this time it’s going to be different
Thanks to modern technology
Their methods can spread
The word faster, more purely
No riddles or parables or whatever they were
A Prophet who dies happily
…I like ‘happily’

GABRIEL
This didn’t work as God planned last time.
People divided instead of united.
It’s still getting worse day by day!
Really makes God look bad.
No, I’m afraid we can’t risk it

GAZARDIEL
I’m just saying
Punishment!

JOPHIEL
Messiah!

GAZARDIEL
Punishment!

JOPHIEL
Messiah!

BASTANIEL
Excuse me!
I’m very sorry to interrupt
But I have an idea

GAZARDIEL
But you are very small and insignificant

GABRIEL
We are running out of options here
Let the boy speak

BASTANIEL
How about helping people in their own way
I mean, haven’t there been quite good people
That have done, you know, like good stuff

GAZARDIEL
Like who?
JOPHIEL
Always so cynical.

GABRIEL
Yeah, give the boy a chance, will you
Now Bastaniel, who do you have in mind?

(This is where the angels decide who they will send back to Earth)

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Comments

Iida Hämeen-Anttila September 25, 2010 10:17 Flag

Hello Demetrio!
The final draft of the first scene is here in the reference media: http://www.wreckamovie.com/tasks/show/1608 of the first Composing task, check it out! The orchestration part comes later in the process but please join in the composing now!

Greetings,
Iida

Demetrio Bonvecchio September 24, 2010 16:34 Flag

fantastic emphasis and drama!! I'll start now to think about a possible orchestration...

Enrico De Zottis September 14, 2010 10:03 Flag

A really energic start - straight to the point! I've already developed some musical ideas for the ouverture, dealing mainly with solemn and dramatic atmospheres, but not forgetting a touch of hope.

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Nancy Somerville September 16, 2010 15:59 1 Thumb-up
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Suggestions for 'genius selection' scene

The Second Scene could address the selection of the 3 heroes with a witty dialogue between Gabriel and Bastianel. Maybe start with Gabriel dismissing the others out of their heavenly conference room, and Bastianel (as the administrative assistant he is) could go fetch a big ol’ dusty “Book of Souls”. There could be some fun repartee as they flip through the pages, commenting on the pros and cons of possible candidates, with Bastianel slowly gaining confidence and ultimately controlling the selection process while making Gabriel think they are all his ideas….ending with mutual boasting pride and appreciation for their own 'genius' once they've latched onto the perfect 3.

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Iida Hämeen-Anttila September 20, 2010 10:07 Flag

I've been giving this a thought and I think we could save a little time if Gabriel would order each angel to propose a hero. (Now that we have three angels and three heroes.)

Iida Hämeen-Anttila September 18, 2010 14:24 Flag

OK Nancy, sounds good.

graziano gallo September 16, 2010 18:25 Flag

Great! I'd love to see that on stage!

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graziano gallo September 16, 2010 09:23 2 Thumb-ups
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About the choice of the heroes and some other vital decisions

I am pretty happy with the choice of the three heroes, I agree ... I find it original and inspiring.
I also like the idea of the choir lending voice to God, I believe it's pretty effective.
At the same time I find that the structure of the characters described is unbalanced. I was crowded out reading this part of Sivi's post as I thought we were in the phase of choosing the heroes of the story only. In any case we have a platoon of "good fellows" and only Lucifer against them ... mmmmhhh ... no ... I fear that doesn't work ... that reduces almost to nil the chance to set up the humorous (and somehow vain) fight between good and evil that is one of the pillar of the plot ... I'm aware of the constrains due to the maximum number of leading and supporting roles but then I would suggest that we cut out the angel guides (Gazardiel and Jophiel) and replace them with two devils as indeed they are the true antagonist of our three heroes. Shaping the casting in such a way allow us to better and more effectively handle the central part of the plot in which Wilde, Mozart, Joan and Bastianel will face the threat brought to their plan by Lucifer and the other two devils ...

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Iida Hämeen-Anttila September 18, 2010 13:39 Flag

OK, great that you see my point! The annoying overlapping effect is one of the things we try to avoid by not putting the angels play Lucifer's helpers in the second scene, that would probably be too confusing for the audience. I'm also keen on the subtext this kind of choice could have.

The reason why we have to make some double roles is here:
"You now have the opportunity to take part in the conception of the first opera ever created by an online community. You have at your disposal 2-4 opera singers for the lead parts, 3-5 singers for the supporting roles, a full 80 member opera choir, a symphony orchestra and a live audience of 5000. The actual opera plot, music and visualization are up to you."

graziano gallo September 17, 2010 12:30 Flag

Ok I see your point.
Just let me add a short consideration as to the way you think you may address this issue.
From a pure musical point of view, the downside of making a same voice play more than just a role is that it may cause a sort of rather annoying "overlapping" effect from the audience's perspective. That's because in musical theatre the voice is (and is perceived as) one of the most relevant features of the role as a whole. Due to that making a voice sing different roles is something that should be avoided as much as possible, unless required by the plot (and this doesn't seem to be our case, provided we don't mean to give such a voice "doubling" a symbolic rationale). Of course when the opera is performed on stage the annoying effect I mentioned above is less relevant and once you take smart countermeasures it may also turn out to be an interesting dramaturgical device.
As to the idea of providing Lucifer with a massive choir of servants, I think it's a very good brainwave. Actually that raises in me a potential underlying hidden meaning of such a choice ... a way to give representation to the fight between a powerful elite (God + Angels and their BoD) and huge masses led by a leader (the devils led by Lucifer) ... as the story intends to show a pretty vain fight indeed ...

Iida Hämeen-Anttila September 17, 2010 10:25 Flag

This is what we think:
Gazardiel, Jophiel, Gabriel and possibly Bastianel would play other roles in the second and third act. One or two of them could be terrorists working with Lucifer. We didn't think that Lucifer would be alone in the first act either, because her servants Nephili would be played by a massive choir. I think it would make Lucifer more threatening (at the same time comical in her vanity) if he/she would have an enormous group of obedient servants. This would also create greater contrast between the scene in Heaven and the scene in Hell.

I think the Geniouses don't have to fight the devil alone, but also his "evil doings" on Earth and people possessed by him.

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Nancy Somerville September 13, 2010 15:51 2 Thumb-ups
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Draft of First Scene Libretto (in its entirety)

Please note that the text in capitalized letters implies spoken dialogue, rather than sung.

Act 1, Scene 1
1)Overture ... music commenting on videoclips and pictures showing mankind's suffering projected on a screen...
2) Sudden darkness and absolute silence fall on stage (few seconds)
3) Lights turn on the Angels Board of Directors meeting, several angels seated round a conference table. An administrative assistant, Bastianel, stands quietly aside when not engaged in passing out copies of documents, refilling cups, or fetching supplies.
(Gabriel, trance-like, eyes closed and arms raised, channels God’s thoughts in a kind of stream-of-consciousness)
GABRIEL
My poor Man
Seed of my soul
Hate, greed, lust
Makes you blind
I can’t stand
This view any longer
I shall do
What must be done
(Gabriel’s meditative state ends. He opens his eyes and lowers his hands to his side. Picking up a tablet from the table, Gabriel uneasily flips pages back and forth, scanning his notes. Assuming a direct and very serious manner, he tensely addresses the collective of angels)

GABRIEL
As your CEA
I’ve called this emergency session
At the Lord’s request
And with specific directions
As what you’ve seen clearly proves
Heaven has failed to connect
To connect
With our audience on earth
Our attempts at bailout
Very quickly dried out
Famine and Fear
Hate Wars and Greed

The promise that brought
The new century dawn
Is the wail of a baby who
Won’t ever grow
And the globalization
Still nets a gain in devastations
We must stop mankind self-destruction
Now

The Free Will Project known as “Man”
Doesn’t meet God’s expectations
My friends our task is set
We’ve been given an ultimatum
The new directive is the “Judgment Day”
That means
Win or fail
Live or die
And that too to us apply ...

(Rumours of concern around the table)

Not only Man at the stake
My dear friends you can bet
There’s our own role
On the game board
If we don’t make His will
We will pay out the bill
If we fail to succeed
If we don’t save the breed
What you think He will do?
He will push us to doom!
We will be cast down to hell
And you all know that I’m not lying ... so well ...

God is firm
The direction clear
The deadline is now
We must act
And help God to fix His creation somehow
And remember:
Losing is not in my vocabulary

(All the other angels around the table get upset at Gabriel’s words)
CHOIR
What a shame
It’s unfair
What a threat for no blame
We deserve more respect
We have faithfully served
If the men all got lost
If something went wrong
It is not our fault
God simply laid his bet on the losing horse

(Gabriel takes the floor again)
GABRIEL
Shut up retain your tongue!
The Almighty can’t go wrong
I would suggest more caution ...

Yes He said “Save the Man!”
Well I don’t give a damn
But what else can we do?
We’ve got too much to lose
You know better than me
How His fury can be
And Lucifer as well
So now squeeze your brains before I start to yell ...

(Discussion starts – Angels around the table, each at his own turn, speak)
ANGEL 1
Men are fearful creatures
Mostly are frightened by pain
Let’s give ‘em a reason to ache
A plague a new virus strain ...

ANGEL 2
Why don’t we get back to the old school
A fire rain or a Deluge
Humans will be scared to hell
And promptly to wisdom reduced ...

GABRIEL
Not at all!
You forget our goal
We must save the man
Not purify the earth

ANGEL 3
Let us manipulate their dreams
You know it’s already been done
You know it has worked for awhile
It’s time to put up a new show ...

ANGEL 4
We should send a New Messiah
By using the internet
He might talk to the whole world
...well at least ... to whoever connect ...

GABRIEL
Don’t you see?
This is not the key!
It will still end the same
And for that we will be blamed

(Voices overlaps in a noisy “crescendo” until Bastianel shyly tries to gain the floor)

BASTIANEL
SIRS ... MAY I DARE TO EXPRESS ...

GABRIEL
WHAT???

BASTIANEL
... MY POINT OF VIEW ...
... WITH YOUR PERMISSION OF COURSE

(All angels laugh at him, but Gabriel hush up all of them by a movement of his hand ... then ironically smiling ...)

GABRIEL
PLEASE BARTHEL ...

BASTIANEL
BASTIANEL SIR ...

GABRIEL
SORRY ... BASTIANEL SURE ... SPEAK ... I CONCEDE MY PERMISSION ...

BASTIANEL
Instead of messengers
Who never fit in
We could send leaders
Who, instead of rejecting money and power
Adapt them, use them as the tools they are
To change big things, in bigger ways
Creative minds, spirits GENIUS of the past times …
Let’s see what we have got on hand …
Look down into the Limbo
I’m sure there we will find the right Men …

(All the other angels now turn to him irritated and sarcastically comment on his proposal)
SO YOU THINK SOME DRUNK SINNER MIGHT FIT BETTER THAN A PURE ANGEL OF GOD?
CHOIR
What a nuts
He’s a fool
Blasphemous
Insane
He’s a chump
Misbelieving
Conceited
A sham!
If we bet on his dream
We will win a nightmare!
We will be dragged down to hell
We can’t place our trust in such a foolish spell!

GABRIEL
SILENCE PLEASE!

I FIND BASTIANEL’S PROPOSAL WORTHY OF A MORE RESPECTFUL ATTENTION …
... ACTUALLY ... I LIKE IT ...

(all the other angels have now stopped laughing and shouting and look at Gabriel trying to understand if he’s speaking seriously ... Gabriel’s eyes clearly reveal he’s not kidding ...

GABRIEL
So this Board of Directors approves …

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Comments

Iida Hämeen-Anttila September 17, 2010 09:49 Flag

The leader of the composing of Opera by You is going to post the first composing task next week. Please don't do any composing before the Operatives give further instructions!

Iida

Nancy Somerville September 16, 2010 15:57 Flag

Lida, for your consideration in regards to the content of the first scene, I'd like to post a "shot" of a possible synopsis for the next scene in which the heroes could be chosen

Harri Erämetsä September 15, 2010 11:35 Flag

Somerville: "Notes: Graziano has also created a musical score for the version of the Scene 1 Libretto submitted below.
Also, please note that the text in capitalized letters indicates spoken dialogue, rather than sung."
??? Is this already composed - please update
the task list etc. to avoid waisted work. H.

Iida Hämeen-Anttila September 15, 2010 09:36 Flag

OK Nancy, well done! My only worry is the length of the text because we have to fit the whole libretto into approximately 40 pages. I think the best thing to do right now is to combine your work and mine into a compact version of the first scene. I'll do it ASAP.

Sivi Uitto September 13, 2010 12:38 1 Thumb-up
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The Characters

Hello!

The other task is now closed. Thank you all very much for your ideas! The operatives had a meeting concerning the characters, and we decided that the geniouses are:

Mozart
Oscar Wilde
Joan of Arc

Although there were many interesting suggestions we finally decided that choosing three geniouses instead of four would benefit the story. This way we can have more space to develop them properly and it is also easier to create the drama and suspense between three than four characters. The combination of two artist and one war hero and saint feels original and inspiring.

We also had to think about the rest of the characters because in the original synopsis there are so many that we don’t have enough singers to play them. We thought that instead of four guide angels we could have two, Jophiel (Illumination) and Gazardiel (New beginning). There would also be Gabriel and Bastianel. These singers could play other roles in the second and third act.

Lucifer is naturally a very important character as the antagonist of the story so he/she would be the forth lead role. The giants could be played by the choir.

We also thought that voice of God could be played by the choir. That could be a powerful way to demonstrate that God is something more than just a person, that it could be in fact in everything and in everyone.

So here are all the characters:

Mozart (male)
Oscar Wilde (male)
Joan of Arc (female)
Gabriel (male)
Gazardiel (female)
Jophiel (male)
Bastianel (female)
Lucifer (female)
God (the choir)
The Giants (the choir)

This way we would have 4 leading roles and 4 supporting roles. It is possible to add a role or two later if needed, but this way our story won’t be overcrowded before it’s too late to change things.

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Nancy Somerville August 09, 2010 03:07 6 Thumb-ups
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Suggestions for Act 1, Scene 1

Suggestions that are used as premises in the following scenario for an opening scene:
1) use Gabriel as God’s Representative on the stage, rather than having God be a person. This way we could use gender-neutral terms when referring to God (and avoid some costuming clichés too!)
2) Although the suggestions below rely on individual singers playing the roles of the 4 angel guides in Act 1 Scene 1, each could perhaps have a unique choral accompaniment. Then when the subsequent scenes on earth take place, the guides could perhaps be present solely in the form of their choral voices-- ‘god shots’ that sound out on occasion to help the earthly geniuses along the correct path. The 4 singers would then be free to take on different assignments in the subsequent scenes.
Act 1, Scene 1
Curtain opens with Gabriel (as God’s Representative) standing stage right, facing the stage wings (no pun intended…). Behind Gabriel a group of other angels are gathered, including Uriel/Creativity, Perpetiel/Dream, Josphiel/Illumination, Gazardiel/New Beginning, and the novice Bastianel. All face the right stage wing, looking slightly upwards, mesmerized as they watch and listen, some of them clearly aghast.
Bright bursts of light emanate from offstage where they are watching, the flashes accompanied alternately by terrifying sounds of battle, piteous cries of starving children, the agitated honking of car horns at what sounds like crowds of beggars, painful coughing and moans of agony. The lights and sounds slowly fade.
Gabriel turns to the group behind him

Gabriel:
God has a new calling for you
We know of your many angelic deeds—
A guiding hand,
A flash of insight,
Watching over as children sleep
But…

God believes there is more you can do
You see their actions and hear their thoughts (gesturing over to stage wing on the right):
“God is dead” or
at least far away
No one is listening when God talks
Yet—
Even the most of unholy of them
Will call on an angel now and again

So your God is now asking you
To beat your wings with a greater span
Awaken them!
Your turn—save them!
You’re charged with creating The Plan

Put your halo’d heads together
Ideas, yee angels, bring us your best ideas!
The future of earth resides in your hands.

(Much bustling, pondering, creating of lists and hand-waving amongst our angels. Almost eagerly, Gazardiel steps forward)
* Gazardiel:*
Think how wonderfully
A soul on earth transforms
When told of ‘incurable’ disease
Life becomes precious
Small things…cherished
Vision…unclutters
Think how wonderful
To ‘inflict’ all with this
manner of gift
A plague, perhaps?
Swiftly rising flood?

Gabriel pause, then speaks thoughtfully
Gabriel:
Too indirect
Often…misinterpreted as punishment
‘wrath’ of God nonsense
Fear is the opposite of the feeling we want

(Uriel and Perpetiel raise their hands together, then at a nod from Gabriel speak rapidly)
* Uriel, Perpetiel:*
Let us manipulate their dreams
You know it’s been done…
Let us plant visions of humanity
Show scenes from their lives
Played out with integrity
Really…you know it’s been done!

Gabriel:
Free Will, good friends, Free Will
This borders on tampering
With that sacred tenant
Besides—those there on earth
Think a ‘dream’ is something
That can never be attained

Josphiel then steps forward
* Josphiel:*
We should send a new Messiah!
It’s been too long
The message has grown stale
Now their methods can spread
The word faster, more purely
A Great One who will answer all questions
Answer for all to hear together
No riddles or parables or whatever they were
A Prophet who dies happily
…I like ‘happily’

Gabriel:
Yikes.
This didn’t work as God planned last time.
Peopled divided instead of united.
Hell, it’s still getting worse day by day!
Really makes God look bad.
No, I’m afraid we can’t risk it.

(Following Gabriel’s response, confused, agitated conversation takes place amongst the angels. The novice Bastianel raises a hand. )
* Bastianel:*
Instead of more messengers
Who never fit in
by sheer definition
of their outcast natures
We could send leaders
Who, instead of rejecting money and power
Adapt them, use them as the tools they are
To change big things, in bigger ways
Creative minds, GENIUS souls--
Think of what we have on hand
Those washed pure again,
lulled in limbo—
Mozart! (etc.)

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graziano gallo September 04, 2010 00:19 Flag

Nancy and I, we are amending a bit the text of the first scene supported by a musical idea and we are confident we might present our job by the end of the next week.

Nancy Somerville August 28, 2010 22:56 Flag

Hello all --Here are some revisions attempting to incorporate the suggestion to make God the shareholder, and Gabriel nervous about losing his job as CEO

Act 1, Scene 1
1)Overture ... music commenting on videoclips and pictures showing mankind's suffering projected on a screen... God's musical voice slowly emerging (as a kind of main theme) and then, at the climax of the overture, awfully thundering with no underlying music ...
2) Sudden darkness and absolute silence fall on stage (few seconds)
3) Lights turn on the Angels Board of Directors meeting, several angels seated round a conference table. An administrative assistant, Bastianel, stands quietly aside when not engaged in passing out copies of documents, refilling cups, or fetching supplies.

*Gabriel, trance-like, eyes closed and arms raised, channels God’s thoughts in a kind of stream-of-consciousness:*
Bleak, blind, murky earth
Doubting, doomed, desolate souls
Violent, malignant, warring spirits
withering wretched wasteland
reclaim…or REVOKE!
*Gabriel’s meditative state ends. He opens his eyes and lowers his hands to his side. Picking up a tablet from the table, Gabriel uneasily flips pages back and forth, scanning his notes. Assuming a direct and very serious manner, he tensely addresses the collective of angels.*

As your CEA
I’ve called this emergency session
At God’s request
And with specific directions (or “and with God’s ultimatum”?)
As these images demonstrate
Heaven has failed to connect
Failed to connect
with our audience on earth
Our attempts at bailout
very quickly dried out
Famine and Fear
Terror and Greed
Their ‘milestone’ of a new century
Did nothing
To keep their eyes on eternity
And our merger with Globalism
Still nets a gain in devastations

The present administration
Has been given an ultimatum
The new directive is “Judgment Day” (or: “You could call it a ‘Judgment Day’)

God, our primary shareholder
is troubled, God is in torment
The Free Will Project
That we know and tend as ‘Earth’
Has not met projections
Not met God’s expectations
Angel leaders
our Great Shareholder
has tasked us with a restructuring
So deep and
so far reaching as to be earth changing
The Free Will Project must be reclaimed
And souls collectively rearranged

The present administration
Has been given an ultimatum
The new directive is “Judgment Day” (or: “You could call it a ‘Judgment Day’)

God is firm
The direction is clear
The deadline is now
We must act
Use our insight
And our influence
To help fix this creation
So I open the floor
To your propositions

Iida Hämeen-Anttila August 27, 2010 12:55 Flag

Hi!
The composers are eager to start composing, so I'll make a summary of Nancy's writings and our discussions. That way the composing can start next week.

Iida Hämeen-Anttila August 26, 2010 12:35 Flag

Good job, Nancy! It's great that you have been so active. I think you're heading to the right direction especially if we make the conversation after Gabriel's aria light and witty. The modern language makes the message grimmer and more convincing.

I think it's a good idea to free the actors of the angels to other roles in II and III act. Right now there's so much characters and I'm not sure what the real, active role of the angels would be on Earth. I have one suggestion though, what if Bastianel was sent to Earth with the Genius to help them and keep them on the right track? After all it's his idea, and the audience could identify with his stress when things won't go exactly as planned

I also have one suggestion about God. It doesn't have to be decided yet, but what if we would see a glimpse of him/her/it in the end? It's a matter of taste, but I tend to like plots with some kind of secret or surprise.

Nancy Somerville August 24, 2010 00:47 Flag

Graziano's coaching is very helpful! Here's a 'shot' at a reworking of the first part of Scene One. Let me know if this is closer to the correct mood of the piece.

Act 1, Scene 1
1)Overture ... music commenting on videoclips and pictures showing mankind's suffering projected on a screen... God's musical voice slowly emerging (as a kind of main theme) and then, at the climax of the overture, awfully thundering with no underlying music ...
2) Sudden darkness and absolute silence fall on stage (few seconds)
3) Lights turn on the Angels Board of Directors meeting, several angels seated round a conference table. An administrative assistant, Bastianel, stands quietly aside when not engaged in passing out copies of documents, refilling cups, or fetching supplies.

Gabriel, trance-like, eyes closed and arms raised, channels God’s thoughts in a kind of stream-of-consciousness:
Bleak, blind, murky earth
Doubing, doomed, desolate souls
Violent, malignant, warring spirits
withering wretched wasteland
distress…distress

Gabriel’s meditative state ends. He opens his eyes and lowers his hands to his side. Picking up a tablet from the table, Gabriel assumes a direct and very serious manner, scanning his notes then addressing the collective of angels.

As your CEA
I’ve called this emergency session
At God’s request
And with specific directions

As these images demonstrate
Heaven has failed to connect
Failed to connect
with our audience on earth
Our attempts at bailout
very quickly dried out
Famine and Fear
Terror and Greed
Their ‘milestone’ of a new century
Did nothing
To keep their eyes on eternity
And our merger with Globalism
Still nets a gain in devastations

Angel leaders, earth shareholders
God is troubled, God’s in torment
The Free Will Project
That we know and tend as ‘Earth’
Has not met projections
Not met God’s expectations
Angel leaders
Earth shareholders
God has tasked us with a restructuring
So deep and
so far reaching as to be earth changing
The Free Will Project must be reclaimed
And souls collectively rearranged

God is in agony
We must act
Use our insight
And our influence
To help fix this creation
So I open the floor
To your propositions

graziano gallo August 13, 2010 10:51 Flag

Yep Lida you got it!
I'd prefer giving Nancy time to rework the draft and then moving to a definitive fine tuning with a more direct cooperation (I mean I could then suggest modifications and Nancy could amend and improve them). I'm sure we'll close the opening scene gross draft by the end of August (I talk of a gross draft because in my experience writing a Libretto is always kind of iterative process ... so, as you move ahead, you often need to go back to previous scenes and apply some light changes here and there ... it's unavoidable ... you find the perfect balance - or something next to it - only when the writing is over ...)

Iida Hämeen-Anttila August 13, 2010 09:47 Flag

I think it's a good idea to keep the language modern. I.e: "What about new Messiah?" "Look what happened to the last one"

Graziano, what about writing the changes yourself?

Iida

graziano gallo August 13, 2010 00:39 Flag

Nancy said: "The portrayal of earth’s suffering could even take the form of an overture to the work, maybe, that morphs into the opening scene?"
Yes I think so, in my opinion it would work fine.
I don't remember the singing squid in the movie “The Fifth Element” (Luc Besson, right?), but once we accept Seppo's basic idea to give God only a musical shape, then I guess the problem is solved and we might save one singer ...
Nancy said: "For the opening scene, Graziano’s ‘Angel Board of Directors’ could be a very amusing presentation. My first impulse was to sway most of the sarcasm and wit towards Lucifer’s camp, with God’s team more dead-pan/’straight man’ stuff. Better to keep that tone in this opening scene too, however? It would mesh better with a Board of Director’s setting".
I think Nancy hit the bull's-eye. Devils are a real disaster, they are all awfully feckless bunglers fated to failure, Lucifer himslef is kind of a hysterical effeminate Narcissus ... so needless to say that I agree on Nancy's idea of devoting the largest part of sarcasm to the devil's camp. Nevertheless as to the opening scene I would welcome here and there some witty exchange of cues commenting those weird ideas of a new flooding or of some other kind of plagues ... (maybe with references to more recent events) ... and with Gabriel (acting as a real CEO) trying to draw back the discussion to a more serious tone ... The setting might be that of a Board of directors of a Corp and Bastianel could behave as a sort of waiter pouring water into the glasses of the "senior" angels attending the meeting in their capacity of Directors ...
As to the 4 angel guides ... yes Nancy's concern about time constraints is well founded. I'm aware of the problem and I think that we need to reduce their number to 2 (same measure to be taken as to the devils by the way ... I suppose angel guides and devils' role might be played by the same singers ...).
Now ... back to the opening ... I wonder if it might be structured in the following way:
1) Ouverture ... music commenting on videoclips and pictures showing mankind's suffering projected on a screen (I'd personally prefer only music without any singing part) ... God's musical voice slowly emerging (as a kind of main theme) and then, at the climax of the ouverture, awfully thundering with no underlying music ...
2) Sudden darkness and absolute silence fall on stage (few seconds)
3) Lights turn on on the Angels Board of Directors meeting, Gabriel sings out God's theme pronouncing dreadful words (like in a sort of temporary state of trance ...) ... then the meeting begins
4) Opening Statemnet by Gabriel
5) Discussion (proposals might be attributed to the 4 angel guides already identified, 2 of them might be choir singers). Some choir singers might also make sarcastic comments on the proposals ... A choir refrains should be added soon after every proposal and comment have been done ... If we imagine Bastianel as a waiter moving around the table we can also introduce a kind of counterpoint here and there while the "senior angels" are arguing ...
6) Bastianel's proposal (sarcastically commented at first by the Senior Angels abruptely hushed up by Gabriel who encourages Bastianel to fully expose his plan)
7) Final decision
Some final remarks as a composer ...
If we follow the idea of the ouverture as above summarized, I suppose the opening musical colour will be intensely dramatic and dark, so soon after Gabriel has sung out his opening sentence, the scene of the meeting has to be the opposite ... sparkling, frizzy, faster ... verbal counterpoints may help a lot with short sentences and the choir role is important as well: we need to find an effective refrain ... I think the introductory speech by Gabriel shoud be kind of an Aria and then as the other Senior Angels start proposing their plans music change to a faster and more fragmented rhythm and melodic structure, broken here and there by counterpoints (Choir and Bastianel). When Bastianel takes the floor (that might happen as by accident) we listen once again to a short lied interrupted by the laughters of the Senoir Angels and by the harsh intervention by Gabriel in Bastianel's defence.
Last point (I swear): in my opinion language has to be kept modern (maybe some exceptions might sound good if they are useful to characterize one or two of the Angels attending the meeting).
I wonder if Nancy would rework a bit her first drafting of the opening scene before moving to the next one ... Nancy, I suggest that you close your eyes and try to see all the scene from the beginning to the end like a movie ... and figure out all the emotions the characters on the stage would raise in you by their actions and words ...
Graziano

Iida Hämeen-Anttila August 12, 2010 11:46 Flag

Also we might not be able to get 4 singers to play the roles of the angel guides especially if we have 4 genious.

Iida Hämeen-Anttila August 12, 2010 11:37 Flag

Great ideas everybody! Maybe the other angels could be presented in a more sarcastic tone, but God and Bastianel would represent the more serious tone of the story?

Nancy Somerville August 10, 2010 02:28 Flag

It is fun to have things rolling! I really like Seppo’s ideas about using music as God’s voice. The portrayal of earth’s suffering could even take the form of an overture to the work, maybe, that morphs into the opening scene?

Lida raises a nice challenge about finding an unconventional portrayal of God on the stage, possibly something that is not at all ‘human’ in form could pair with the music? The image that comes to my mind (it’s okay—go ahead and laugh) is the singing squid in the movie “The Fifth Element”, performing an unearthly soprano part from the opera Lucia di Lammermoor. The notes are so high the words are unintelligible, but still transformative.

For the opening scene, Graziano’s ‘Angel Board of Directors’ could be a very amusing presentation. My first impulse was to sway most of the sarcasm and wit towards Lucifer’s camp, with God’s team more dead-pan/’straight man’ stuff. Better to keep that tone in this opening scene too, however? It would mesh better with a Board of Director’s setting.

I agree completely with Graziano that incorporating the 4 angel guide roles into the opening scene is unnecessary, and possibly restrictive on their roles in terms of the subsequent Acts. I’m wondering about time constraints, however. If it takes roughly 3 times as long to sing something as to speak it, and if the ideal length for an opera is about 2 hours, can we fit in 3-4 geniuses and the development of their world-changing concepts? Or do we stop with 2 geniuses, or use all 4 but apply them from different angles to the same conceptual goal?

Seppo Hiltunen August 09, 2010 17:01 Flag

Bright pure light may be the representative for god, perhaps the god talking is only music playing and variation in light, colouring of it for example. And then after the divine god talking, the melody is over, Gabriel starts as a resitative his interpretation of divine messages.

graziano gallo August 09, 2010 13:32 Flag

Great Job Nancy!
Avoiding clichés is a must, I agree. As to God leaving the character out of the stage might be a solution though not the only one. I thought God as a woman and that might help. In any case I like Gabriel's portrait as God representative. I also like Seppo's idea of assigning to music the task of giving voice to God and at the same time to mankind's suffering.
I'm not so sure about the general mood of the scene ... I thought about something brilliant and humorous ... maybe by adding some sarcastic comments on the first ideas emerged from the discussion ...
I also thought that the meeting should resemble more a board of directors meeting of a large corporation ...
And though I see the point in giving the four angel guides the role of exposing the first ideas, I feel not comfortable with such a decision, depending on the way I think they should be characterized in the following stages of the plot (just to give you the idea ... in my mind all the angel guides are women ... the one attending Mozart should be kind of a jazz singer ...)
Did I give u food for thought? I hope so ...

Iida Hämeen-Anttila August 09, 2010 10:32 Flag

Great job, Nancy! I also think that presenting the suffering of the world by music is a good idea. Maybe it could be presented by the choir, different voices "complaining" about all kinds of terrible destinies. You've done a good job with the dialogue also. I just think we should still try to show God somehow because it could be a great challenge trying to find a way that isn't such a cliché.

Iida

Seppo Hiltunen August 09, 2010 08:24 Flag

Could it be presented so, that god's voice is music, playing the same musical phrase first loud that Gabriel afterwards sings out, thus interpreting the message? Or is it too much of a cliche?

I like the idea of yours that is presenting the suffering of the world, in the way of different sounds and lights playing there describing the state of nowadays hectic life.

Iida Hämeen-Anttila August 06, 2010 18:37 Production Leader 4 Thumb-ups
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Hello!

I'm very excited to continue creating the libretto with you!

Iida

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