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| Created at |
January 09, 2009 |
| Created by |
Timo Vuorensola
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| Deadline |
Not set |
| Shots given |
147
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| Wreckupations |
Director, Producer, Writer, Graphic Designer
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| Reference media |
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Thumbs ranking
NOTE! We've printed the selected stories to newspapers for the Berlin and Cannes film festivals. We have since set up "The Truth Online" website to publish even more of the articles. So keep them coming!
The online edition is: http://www.thetruthonline.info
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Calling out for writers to contribute satirical news stories for a mock news paper set in the Earth 2018 of the Iron Sky movie.
We are looking for amateur & professional writers to write short news stories for a free mock-newspaper that will be printed and spread out during Berlin Film Festival 2009 as a promotional item for Iron Sky.
The format of the paper is like the free Metro newspaper, but the stories can be satirical, as long as they are believeable in some way. The main article in the paper is: ”NAZIS FROM THE MOON ATTACKING EARTH”.
The newspaper is set on Earth, and before this edition, nobody (at least the big public) has known anything about the Nazi threat.
Length of the articles is supposed to be between 500-2500 characters, and the language should be English. Subjects can be around any topic you can find from a normal newspaper: news, culture, sports, entertainment etc. The style can be, but is not limited to, satirical (take a look at The Onion online newspaper for a reference).
If your story ends up to the paper, your name will of course be printed (unless you specifically don't want to), and we'll send you a physical copy of the paper after it's out of the print.
NOTE: PICTURES!
Writers can suggest pictures to go along with the stories, but it's important that they are released under a Creative Commons license which allows the use of the images. Also, you can add as a comment your own picture ideas to the stories submitted here. But keep in mind, we need to have the rights to release them.
The next evolution in the Truth Today saga has just gone live. The Truth Today website at http://thetruthonline.info is now the "real" online edition of the magazine, in the style of NYT.
What happens next is that while now the sites includes the news seen in the first print edition we can also add more of the great stories you've written to the online edition.
What this needs is some time to go trough the submissions and adding them etc. What I'd love to do eventially would be to get a few volunteer "online editors" who could add stories when we are too busy - but I think before that we'll need to get it up and running first.
Comment on this shot with your ideas for the site and if there are early stories that didn't make it to the paper and that you think really should have.
Also, have fun :) And the url once again is http://www.thetruthonline.info
Does the Truth Today have advertising space?
If it did it would certainly be freeing basic truths into the body polityk...
EuCorps...
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sick and tired of living off your ancestors organ's?
afraid your kids will take their education for granted?
end the nihilism and die all the way!
that's right - you too can die just like in the days of old!
enjoy a profound spiritual experience - go to heaven! -
spurn hell! - reincarnate! - prepare your body to enjoy a real burial
or cremation according to your spiritual specifications!
The time is now - the choice is sacred -
exercise your eternal right for god - die.
You can do it... at EuroCorps!
For the past two years, Britain, France and Germany, all leading members of the now 32 members strong European Union, have been trying to decide how to jointly celebrate the centenary anniversary of WWI, which ended on November 11 1918 when the Armistice was declared, but various political factions in all three countries have now made the upcoming anniversary very contentious indeed.
The original plan was to have the heads of state of those three main European players in the conflict get together in Versailles, where the treaty was officially signed in 1919, as a token of European unity, but recent events, as reported earlier in this paper, now seem to have ruled this out.
The British Prime Minister Arthur Chamberlain said yesterday "I'm sure we can work this out and resolve our differences in the interest of European unity, taking into account the concerns of our German partners, as none of us want to see us come to blows over this." His sentiments were echoed by the French President Francois Vichy yesterday evening.
Europe has seen its fair share of turbulence recently, with the disintegration of the Italian central government (see the special report on Italy in this paper) being the prime example of the worrying rise in regional strife. Negotiators are still trying to resolve the latest issues concerning the upcoming anniversary, and unofficial sources are optimistic about the outcome. Commentators aren't so sure, and the outcome remains uncertain.
Well known serie characters Maddy Hayes and Dave Addison are again filling our hearts in the new episodes of Moonlighting that was a big TV-hit in late 80's. Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd are again fussing and fighting with all love and respect and care and entertaining us. The last case of Moonlighting starts with an episode where Sam, who was the old lover of Maddy, also a former astronaut, is asking the detective agency Blue Moon to solve the case of the mysterious treasure of space nazis. The warm hearted episode with almost retired main characters ends again with the usual running scene, now in Cape Canaveral where the duo Maddy and Dave are wrecking some fresh starships. Can the Blue Moon Investigations solve the mystery os space nazis, that can be seen next thursday on channel ABCDEF...
-Paris Hilton, Hollywood reporter
Bruno, The Nazi Enfadado
MTU Plaza, Greenland
Hola soldiers of hot, tired of goose stepping in last season’s boots but don’t want to give up leather all together?! Welcome to the Miami of the North – where animal fat’s your friend, and water-resistant towels abound. Strap on some authoritarian inner wear and burn a love that’ll melt your own iceberg guaranteed!
Too busy to honeymoon on a private island? Too insecure to take abuse from Europeans? Too scared of losing your betrothed to the Caribbean forever? Try the new Ecolodge Getaway by Hummerung raising the thermostat by cooling the couple.
With my trusty companions, Doctors Kel and Baz Links, I picked my own freshly drifting iceberg from the Halifax company, Outward Bound Ltd. and was rushed via helicopter to lather it up and down with good old fashioned privatized R & R.
While the trip was the latest pork in the robust perk package from my local cable provider, Hummerung, Sundance Outdoor Loafing Ent. provided the 80% renewable energy package outfitting our splendid island view with most of the comforts of home like the Hummerung Jacuzzi with twin settings of salty and lather.
The degradable entertainment center, complete with solar powered wifi compliment the dimishing Northern Lights nicely as we float south towards the fishing colonies. I recommend the Ice Shogun package which includes dual bars of Alcohol & Sushi complimenting a plush Ice Cream garden arrangement. A solar powered Rice Cooker makes the comforting foods of cream of spinach, cream of corn, etc. available with the Ice Queen package. Microwaves are only available on the Titanic package which also features some refreshing diesel devices like motorboats and dart guns to tantalize the senses should Gasoline withdrawal visit upon your honey moon. Dynamite and flairs are provided free of charge and so is the singular adventure experience of dominating mother nature like you could usually only do from your couch.
This Nazis’ only gripe was the total lack of delivery. I know solitude is romantic, but what if you want to proclaim your love to some complete stranger? The Dr.’s Links agreed and we have all written to Hummerung. demanding our wishes be realized because what’s hot is always missing what’s not!
A man in New York was arrested today for comitting suicide. When asked why he did it we received no comment. The police insist that the man did the crime and now he has to do the time. His corpse is sitting in a cell and will remain there till his time is served.
Electro Pope Electrifies Youth with Fire and Brimstone
– Speaks Protestant – Is Still A New Yorker
by
Justin Pulizter
'Hell, he's still a New Yorker.' Yes Yes. Take your right hand off your heart. And put the left arm around your gal. There’s no Star Spangled Banner at this spectacle and the standing room only crowd embraced their favorite New Yorker, formerly Joey Piersberger of Yorkville, Pope Clement Uniaficius I with the uncommon glee of a sports hero who embarrassed a rival from another town into retirement. The Pope began what many clerics are calling the beginning of Vatican III with his 'A game': ‘Greetings Sinners!’
Peering over the crowd of over 100,000, the Pope continued, “Damn New York, I didn’t know you all knew how to fuck each other over while standing so still. I guess that’s why my corporate motto is ‘Look, I can’t touch.’ Maybe you could all hug each other now to give the pickpockets some fucking religion! Finally, Jesus Rodriguez can admit the truth to his mother: ‘Mama, I know I’m bad, but a couple more felonies, and we can be suckers like the white people, and then, kingdom come mama, kingdom come hally-lu-yah-praise-Jesus!’ Fuck, you don’t know how much I miss not looking like an eatable candle staring out at you! Speaking of eatable candles, I know y’all been waiting for this one: my fellow Americans, I, little Joey Piersberger from Brooklyn, am here to tell you the holocaust has officially failed! And I do invite you to join me in thanking that eatable stick figure in the sky, Jesus Christ, thank you, thank you God Almighty, the holocaust finally failed!”
The Pope went on to correct much of Catholic perception. ‘Most people here think you have to be an immigrant to be poor enough to believe in Catholicism: that’s shit’s bunk! I’m here to reveal the new Miracle of the Church – Vatican III – the true glory of Jesus is the mystery and beauty of Hebrew – the new language of this motherfucker! I’m learning Hebrew y’all, and let me tell you, Latin is o-ver! Jesus is bad. I mean Jesus is like fuckoff - Greek – speakers – your – language – sounds – like - you – are – gargling – eel shit – and – the – real – language – of – love and creation - is Hebrew - bad! Yeah! New York! You get this shit! You knew this shit! And we gotta show the world! Catholicism is now formerly Jewish bitches! And if ya’ll got a problem with that – y’all got a problem with 14million crazed dogs! So lace up New York, in the spirit of ‘Ich bin ein Berliner,’ that old church was the Bundt cake but revolution has come and small ball’s over: I am the Hamburgler, I am the York peppermint patty, I am Jesus, and I say playball!
The Catholic church has yet to excommunicate Pope Clement Uniaficius I and indeed has gone so far as to confirm the reality of the Pamphlets passed out at a Mount Boorish Popular event which stated, ‘We the Roman Catholic Church hold no responsibility for THE HOLOCAUST but we know who does.’
When asked to comment, a Vatican Bishop responded before imbibing several bottles of fantastic wine, ‘Well everyone knows that opposites attract, so with thought it would be a good way to distinguish ourselves spiritually.’ Over grapa, the bishop added, ‘Look, we haven’t had the same profile since the TV and the countless comedy groups got rich pretending to be Priests screwed our bottom line so bad we had to start publishing pulp fiction in the airports. And then having that pope with a German accent really pissed off the Vatican Two'ers. So we are fighting back. Period.’
English army has ordered some hundred thousand pairs of eatable shorts and panties for the soldiers to wear under uniform. The meaning is to advance the mobility of one soldier and to make the provisions easy to keep near in every situation.
It has been a big problem to make all the logistics for a soldier or army unit in fighting situations. One person needs to have energy and proteins and therefore earlier the soldiers carried some kilograms of conserved food in tincans.
New technology and intelligent clothing with wired GPS -systems installed on soldiers uniforms and cooling units has done a revolution in creating a new way to fight. Now eatable shorts and underwear make it possible to lift a heavy weight from the shoulders of the soldiers.
The new technology has gone through extensive testing on battlefield simulations. The last soldier camp near Oxbridge moor last month was a test to check the survival of soldiers in harsh conditions when they had nothing else to eat except their shorts - if one counts out the pride of soldier. The results of the test were encouraging and now every soldier must wear eatable underwear on battlefield. There was only one side effect that was a little disturbing: the soldiers tend to eat each others shorts, not that pair belonging to themselves. Perhaps that behaviour can be minimized by recording the favourite flavours of the shorts by all the soldiers and putting in battleteams only people with different tastes, so they consentrate on their own underwear and leave the man or woman nearby untouched.
- Battler Britton, London.
ABSTINENCE EDUCATES!
Lahore, Pakistan
Rudy Sales
The estranged billionaire couple known to the free world as
Spartatodd – Todd Reichs and Sparta Jones – which disappeared in South East Asia three years ago after their much heralded eradication of poverty in that region forever have finally resurfaced to the delight of preteen egomaniacs all over the planet. In fact, the website, ‘Spiritual Siamese,’ has been publishing their digital correspondences digitally over the last three years… in Arabic.
The couple has made real strides and the website has become competitive with rival Arabic websites, ‘Infidel Porn Unlimited,’ MuhammadMayPeaceBeUponHimdotcom, ‘Rap Music,’ and ‘Infidel on Infidel Violence.’ The Webadmin published a thank you to the Superhostages in the ‘True Lies,’ pronunciation section of the website on this, the three year anniversary of Spartatodd's breakup with the Media: ‘Love is a many splendored thing as you all can see. It was real risky to kidnap Spartatodd because then nobody would be there to pay the ransom. But our god believes in peace – not money – so we went ahead with the plan. It’s nice to see these two kiss like they used to but without touching you know - so spiritual. And so long as it brings tears to eyes of the infidels, Allah is happy with our work. Killing is a metaphor after all for really good work is it not American?’
Perhaps, but thanks to Spartatodd, Arabic lessons don’t have to kill this reporter anymore.
Wick Zemangel
District of Columbia
WholeFoods Unlimited completed their takeover of Starbuck’s / Caterpillar yesterday. The popular soup kitchen chain intends to merge the urban construction agency with their subsidiary Nestle to organize sprawling farmers towards cities rather than away from them. CEO Jimmy Carter had this to say, ‘We all know unemployment leads to war, and nothing takes longer than planting nourishing food high above the bustling metropolis besides art and criticism. Our’s is a business plan in continued education that pays for itself and offers to young person a job that simulates flight. There are signs that the Whole Food market is expanding after romantic life has been officially banned from federal highways and the internet.'
White House Press Secretary Jay Gap speaking on the economy had this to say, ‘The stock market just rebounded and will continue to hit the boards once digestion has finished regulating shipping. There’s a billion person army on the loose, books have become fire hazards, and Texas wants back into the union. Desertification just can’t accommodate the subtract gas way we used to business. It’s not that we need to devise ways to irrigate the ocean or anything impossible like that, it’s that food needs to be grown locally and we need to figure out new things to ship and new ways to ship people.’
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Comments
Nice idea!
(Haben Sie vielleicht auf eine deutsche Zeitung mit ursprünglich deutsche Texte oder Übersetzugen gedacht?)
IMHO Malinowski needs ofcourse own pages there, perhaps with some nice illustrations if possible.
And when being online there may be possibilities to add also other media, videoclips and music presentations in creative commons copyrighted form to make the pages more entertaining.
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