U.S. Congress Renames Foods Again!

Dateline: Washington D.C., U.S.A 2018. In an act reminiscent of days past, the U.S. Congress has passed a resolution renaming various foods for the duration of the new war. Frankfurters will now be called spacedogs, saurkraut will now be called space cabbage, and lager will now be called space beer. The resolution passed unanimously over the objections of food processors and manufaturers, who claim this unecessary act will cost them millions of dollars to repackage their foods. A spokesperson for the White House responded to their objections by saying 'Tough luck!'.

Another proposed resolution to rename sitz baths as space baths was rejected as 'just plain silly.'.