VIOLENCE TURNS REVOLUTIONARY

Rachel Cubo
Detroit, IL

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Think tanks all over the country yesterday were spontaneously found guilty of graft as the limousine and taxi union joined up with truckers to impose house arrest on goods and services. The‘CEO’ of a 'professional think tank,' Ed Vonsow faced his empty hanger with a megaphone after being questioned as to why special treatment was so important to him, ‘Being unable to define my job is why I’m here as a businessman, don’t we all find ourselves wondering who we are and why we’re here at the end of the day? I help out in the ways you don’t get to notice when you’re out with your family, taking care of your children.’ Several workers were on hand to meet Vonsow’s appeal for immediate service with special requests. Chants of ‘Choke yourself!’ and ‘Play smart and die already,' gave way to choral round of, 'Paperwork is math!' Some popular workers took the time to explain that what they demanded was to produce things that are useful to people and persons alike like UFOs.

The bloody door and elevatormen union apparently is busy protecting their brothers and sisters and declined to return phone calls, ‘Until some people learn that they can only capitalize by betting on a future and not against multiple futures like inept diplomats.’