The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > General Ideas & Feedback > status So here's where I'd really like to hear from people's ideas on where to take the series and how best to proceed. Whether it could be done as a TV pilot, or whether it might be best suited as a smaller Web series... or possibly even a full length movie.
Also, I'd like to know if people are interested in being apart of the production, whether it be as an actor/director/cameraman/etc.
Cheers.
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > "Wham! Bam! Alakazam!" - The Script > Brilliant stuff by: (null)
Just had a read through the entire script and I'm very impressed, it's got a good pace and the dialogue carries the story well. If you can't get it made as an indie production, you should try pitching it to commercial producers.
Here are some plusses and minuses:
+Good characterisation (if you can get the right actors this would be very funny to watch).
+Good basic idea, despite its unusual and random nature it works dramatically. Sort of like Quantum Leap and the last episode of Star Trek TNG.
+Witty, fun-to-hear dialogue.
+Intriguing plot (which world is "real"? did she really kill her parents? etc).
+Good pace.
+Good setup of characters and their relationships.
+Makes me want to watch the next episode, which would be crucial if pitching it as a pilot or as part of a series.
-Maybe a bit too many references to race, I'm not being PC but it just seems a bit overused.
-Ditto penis references. :)
-Might want to take out the "why wouldn't you rape me" gag, again I'm not PC (and I don't believe in closing off any areas of life to humour) but I suspect some viewers/readers will get hung up on this joke and be distracted from the script, which would be a shame.
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > "Wham! Bam! Alakazam!" - The Script > Brilliant stuff by: (null)
Just had a read through the entire script and I'm very impressed, it's got a good pace and the dialogue carries the story well. If you can't get it made as an indie production, you should try pitching it to commercial producers.
Here are some plusses and minuses:
+Good characterisation (if you can get the right actors this would be very funny to watch).
+Good basic idea, despite its unusual and random nature it works dramatically. Sort of like Quantum Leap and the last episode of Star Trek TNG.
+Witty, fun-to-hear dialogue.
+Intriguing plot (which world is "real"? did she really kill her parents? etc).
+Good pace.
+Good setup of characters and their relationships.
+Makes me want to watch the next episode, which would be crucial if pitching it as a pilot or as part of a series.
-Maybe a bit too many references to race, I'm not being PC but it just seems a bit overused.
-Ditto penis references. :)
-Might want to take out the "why wouldn't you rape me" gag, again I'm not PC (and I don't believe in closing off any areas of life to humour) but I suspect some viewers/readers will get hung up on this joke and be distracted from the script, which would be a shame.
914 days ago | 0 Thumb-ups
I lke the script,; excellent characterisations, and so the plot develops via character development (given the plot device of her "jumping" into different existences - it is the reaction of characters to this plot device that drives the story, not the event or device itself).
I would recommend that some character(s) that pose a challenge to Flash be revealed sometime in this first episode: it does not necessarily have to be a "bad guy" or some "mean girl" character - in fact, it could be someone who could later be of help to her. But it might assist the plot development in later episodes to have a character that she reacts to, perhaps someone in authority or someone she takes an instant dislike to.
Otherwise, yes, there are a few areas that need a rewrite: having pointed that out, I am impressed at how well the script flows and how the intrigue is developed. If I saw this episode, I would definitely want to know what happened next, why the car and female driver disappeared and try to understand what is going on with the murders, the overly agressive police, etc.
The final point I wish to make, one which really makes this script shine, is an odd one, but is very important. The fact that she is leaping is NOT the reason I wish to continue to watch - I want to know the answers to the murders, the situation, who is Caleb, who is George, etc. etc. I found myself simply accepting that she jumps into the different existences, and the points that she jumps away, leaving me on a cliffhanger moment,these are the things that make me want to watch more. That, to me, tells me you have a strong script here and that people will want to watch it; you can convince an audience that is jumping without explanation, even though this is an impossibility. It is the different characters that she encounters in each jump that drives the story, so we are more interested in that than the actual "jump". Well done on successfully developing a plot device that, despite an impossibility, convinces the audience that it is happening. It is also a device that enhances the character-driven plots in each existence Flash jumps into; I am convinced that the most successful storylines are character driven and that plot devices must contribute to character development (as character drives plot). Here, you have done so.
Very well done.
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > General Ideas & Feedback > Don't resolve too fast if it turns into a series (but don't drag it out) by: (null)
The script you've uploaded is great in terms of dialogue and characterisation, but even better is the intriguing premise: which life is her real one? The murder? The foster family? Both?
If you do do a series of scripts don't resolve this too quickly because it's the main thing drawing the viewer in.
(However I wouldn't let this particular mystery drag on beyond one series, if it was any longer it would make me wonder if the series would EVER reveal its mystery.)
986 days ago | 0 Thumb-ups
"The idea I had for this series is that each season would deal with a new mystery... but the overall theme would remain. "
That's exactly what I meant to say. Definitely do it like that.
Very interesting the ideas you have, I think they'd work well and they'd also be fairly easy to film on any level of budget. That gives it a lot of potential.
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > General Ideas & Feedback > Don't resolve too fast if it turns into a series (but don't drag it out) by: (null)
The script you've uploaded is great in terms of dialogue and characterisation, but even better is the intriguing premise: which life is her real one? The murder? The foster family? Both?
If you do do a series of scripts don't resolve this too quickly because it's the main thing drawing the viewer in.
(However I wouldn't let this particular mystery drag on beyond one series, if it was any longer it would make me wonder if the series would EVER reveal its mystery.)
987 days ago | 1 Thumb-up
The idea I had for this series is that each season would deal with a new mystery... but the overall theme would remain. The "theme" being that, no matter what life you're living, both could be as F'ed up, or as good, as each other. While one might seem fantastic on the surface, it might not be underneath. And while one might seem horrific, it might actually turn good.
My plans were to resolve the whole "murder mystery" but keep the mystery of her mother (who, you might have realized, can also "Shift"). I was also going to introduce "new" worlds, and not just the world she finds herself into to begin with... but I'd want to do that slowly. I had an idea, towards the end of season one, to see her "flashing" extremely briefly into a world where she's in a mental institution... and thus, making the audience think that maybe THAT is her real world, and she's just insane. Of course, that isn't the case, and it would lead into season two... into a new world.
The whole idea of the show is that Flash isn't the only one who can "Shift." There are heaps of people who can do it, and it's something that can be controlled... albeit, at a cost. (You'll notice Laura popped some pills in the script... that would be because she has a tumour... a side effect of "abusing" her powers).
Anyway, what I had in mind, was that each season would be like a chapter of a book. Questions of the season would be answered, but new ones would be raised... and then answered... and then raised... until everything ended. This isn't "Lost," but it also isn't "Buffy," where most things were completed within a season.
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > General Ideas & Feedback > Don't resolve too fast if it turns into a series (but don't drag it out) So here's where I'd really like to hear from people's ideas on where to take the series and how best to proceed. Whether it could be done as a TV pilot, or whether it might be best suited as a smaller Web series... or possibly even a full length movie.
Also, I'd like to know if people are interested in being apart of the production, whether it be as an actor/director/cameraman/etc.
Cheers.
987 days ago | 2 Comments | 1 Thumb-up
The script you've uploaded is great in terms of dialogue and characterisation, but even better is the intriguing premise: which life is her real one? The murder? The foster family? Both?
If you do do a series of scripts don't resolve this too quickly because it's the main thing drawing the viewer in.
(However I wouldn't let this particular mystery drag on beyond one series, if it was any longer it would make me wonder if the series would EVER reveal its mystery.)
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > "Wham! Bam! Alakazam!" - The Script > Cool by: Charles Anderson
On page 11. I would have Flash wince in horror when Angela comments about giving birth.
You know I was reading through this script and I thought this has an Australian flavour with the dialogue... pork sword :-)
Nice ending.
There's a lot of scope that you could go with with this script.
I would avoid weapons in Sydney though, as our prohibited weapons legislations are pretty strict. I make weapons on occasion for customers, swords knives spears and otehr pole arms, so I am aware of what you can and can't have, and what you require a permit for.
988 days ago | 0 Thumb-ups
There were really Australian phrases in there? I can't ever remember reading/writing them. I've sent this to many American writer friends and they never picked up on that. Either way, it's no biggie right now, because I'm still not sure where this will be set.
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > "Wham! Bam! Alakazam!" - The Script > Cool by: Charles Anderson
On page 11. I would have Flash wince in horror when Angela comments about giving birth.
You know I was reading through this script and I thought this has an Australian flavour with the dialogue... pork sword :-)
Nice ending.
There's a lot of scope that you could go with with this script.
I would avoid weapons in Sydney though, as our prohibited weapons legislations are pretty strict. I make weapons on occasion for customers, swords knives spears and otehr pole arms, so I am aware of what you can and can't have, and what you require a permit for.
988 days ago | 0 Thumb-ups
"the American writers will do a re-write to remove comments that would confuse their audience."
Funny how they totally forget about American series working abroad despite being full of US-only slang.
US networks seem to have a very low opinion of their viewers' intelligence.
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > "Wham! Bam! Alakazam!" - The Script > Cool by: Charles Anderson
On page 11. I would have Flash wince in horror when Angela comments about giving birth.
You know I was reading through this script and I thought this has an Australian flavour with the dialogue... pork sword :-)
Nice ending.
There's a lot of scope that you could go with with this script.
I would avoid weapons in Sydney though, as our prohibited weapons legislations are pretty strict. I make weapons on occasion for customers, swords knives spears and otehr pole arms, so I am aware of what you can and can't have, and what you require a permit for.
988 days ago | 0 Thumb-ups
There were a few phrases that were typically Australian, so if it does go to syndication, the American writers will do a re-write to remove comments that would confuse their audience.
If that does happen, make sure you are on board otherwise you'll lose control of the story.
I like Buffy style action, but I must admit to liking Evil Dead slapstick horror and all the Rami spin offs ;-)
I do have friends in Sydney that are in the industry, so I could ask them where you can go from here, if you like.
Regards Charles
The Fantastical Flash McGinnis > "Wham! Bam! Alakazam!" - The Script > Cool by: Charles Anderson
On page 11. I would have Flash wince in horror when Angela comments about giving birth.
You know I was reading through this script and I thought this has an Australian flavour with the dialogue... pork sword :-)
Nice ending.
There's a lot of scope that you could go with with this script.
I would avoid weapons in Sydney though, as our prohibited weapons legislations are pretty strict. I make weapons on occasion for customers, swords knives spears and otehr pole arms, so I am aware of what you can and can't have, and what you require a permit for.
989 days ago | 0 Thumb-ups
Yeah, obviously I'd agree with all that.
Based on the slang I assumed this was pitched as being with a US cast but if it was set elsewhere in the anglophone world then the dialogue would need a lot of amending. It wouldn't do as a script for a British cast for example.
